PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLE PISS ME OFF.

SO.

MUCH.

we're all teenagers. get over it!

life is wayyyy to short for splenda. 

i hate splenda with a burning passion.

splenda is actually incredibly disgusting and makes you sick and it tastes like soap.

be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

- dr seuss

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.

I need to stop wanting to be other people and just be happy being Sierra.

I need to stop taking people for granted because they're not someone else.

I need to stop wishing and beating myself up for absolutely nothing.

I have amazing friends, an amazing life, I am happy. I just need to remind myself of that sometimes.

Passion

I LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY.

So

so so much.

when i take a photograph and it turns out well, I get a feeling I cannot explain. I LOVE taking pictures. I love having a piece of work I am proud of, something I can show people and say "this is what I love. I made this. This is my creation"

Free as a Bird

when someone breaks your heart, it's bad.

when you KNOW someone is going to break your heart, it's worse.

there is so much I want to write about this, but it's such a sensitive and private topic I don't know what i should write and what i should not.

after it happened, i was in such a state of shock. Not that it happened but that i let it happen. I let myself get broken.

I KNEW it was going to happen. maybe it was the lack of emails, the lack of enthusiasm upon my arrival home, his dread of seeing me.

Because I knew we were going to end, I got over the breakup before it actually happened.

The night before it happened I cried my eyes out (kinda weird, right?). couldn't stop. the last week of england it happened too. I worried all day, obsessed almost because even though I was told everything was okay and it would all go back to normal I knew it wasn't. In my mind, I was taken. but in my gut, in my heart, I was a free bird. 

My gut and my heart knew that something was wrong.

seven months is a long time. I do not regret a single moment spent with him, we helped each other grow into who we are. It was a wonderful friendship and romance.  It was amazing, but it was time for it to end. 

you never forget your first love.

The odd thing is the day it happened I laughed so much. I smiled, I had fun. Why should I be depressed and mope because someone no longer wants me? Their loss. 

I've moved on. I've forgotten how to flirt and be single, but it's coming back to me pretty quickly.

Am I supposed to be sad? To cry and eat ice cream and obsess and hate myself and think I'm ugly and worthless and that it was all my fault and that I'll never ever be w0anted ever again? Oops.

Those actions, those do not make up the person that I am. If anything, I feel BETTER about myself now.

I no longer have to worry. I've done so much worrying. I'm over worrying. I'm myself again!!

Hello world. Hello Chances, Hello Junior Year.

Sierra is once again a free bird!

home.

home. such a weird thought, to be home. for the last six weeks I have not been home, and now I am.
so weird.

If you didn't know, I have spent the last six weeks of my life in England, the first month at a program at Oxford and the last two weeks in London with my mom and brothers, (and three days in Ireland)

The experience is not one I can begin to sum up in this blog article. I could talk about my trip, I could talk about the people I met, I could talk about how it changed me. The fact I have so much to say is overwhelming.

Oxford was the greatest month of my life. (if you want to know about the Oxford Tradition program, google it. If i explain it to one more person I may go insane). I made a 'core' group of friends, people that are all so different but so similar at the same time. After being blessed enough to spend one month with them I have not only had fun but learned from them as well. They were all incredible, smart, driven, beautiful, and KIND individuals. There was not a single mean person not only in my group of friends but in the entire program. We did everything together, all 14 of us or so. Crammed into Chris' room to watch movies, go see Shakespeare, get tapas, moo-moos, the list goes on. We became a family. A large, sometimes dysfunctional family, but we became a family.

Not only did I have an amazing social month but I had an academic month as well. My major was Archaeology, and I was put in the class of the most amazing teacher I have ever been taught by. Her name was Lydia Carr, and she was the awesomist human being. Even though she joked about me being ditzy, she thought I was smart. She gave me the confidence that even though I'm spacey I AM intelligent. I quote her: "Sierra, how is it possible that you are so incredibly smart, but so ditzy at the same time?" We really bonded, I became one of her few favorite students.

Oxford made me grow up. i feel so much older, but so much younger at the same time. Staying by myself at oxford, feeding myself, getting myself up, all that jazz made me feel so much more independent. Not to mention my new cartilage piercing in my ear. That makes me feel a bit older too.
Me feeling young comes from knowing that I have two more years of High School left. I'm not at the college state yet.

If you're reading this, you probably don't care about my academic achievements, you want to know the dirty details. What mischief did I get into? Well, it is a public website, but I did have my fun. I had my fun, but never got detention and never missed a check-in. Good girls are bad girls that don't get caught.

Oxtrad made me so much more driven to go to college. I want to go to college. So badly. High school is great, but I've always felt a bit more....aware than my high school peers. Aware isn't the right word....I don't know how to describe it. I've just always been more analytical when it comes to why my peers, and why I do all those crazy things we do. I can see past it. I enjoy it, but I can see past it.


Oxford, the town, was beautiful. Everything was from the 1700's or earlier. Oriel, the quad we stayed in, was equally beautiful. If i close my eyes I can still remember every detail about it. The first, second, third quad, the lounge room, everything. I miss it with all my heart and more.

I am going to write more, but this is all the oxford for now <3