The Great Discovery

It's over.

over.

I survived Sophomore year.

I laughed, I cried. I REALLY cried. My heart was broken by a boy that will spend the rest of his life having NO clue the effect he had. I found a better boy, one who I have spent the last five months happily with. I never thought I would be in such a good, fun, and amazing relationship.

 I discovered that

 1. I heal fast, and

 2. I'm a damn good girlfriend.

 I was left alone, and then brought back. I discovered people that I can no longer imagine my life without. I discovered people I can no longer look at in the eye. I discovered, that, for the first time in my life, I am capable of disliking people.

I discovered that I start off loving everybody, and my opinion changes only when they hurt me. I thank my lucky stars I was born this way. It is such a nice way to live.

I discovered that I really don't give a shit about what people think of  other people, and never will. I discovered that my tendency to befriend anybody and everybody, whether they be labeled as nerdy, cool, weird, well-liked, whatever, will NEVER change. It is something I hold onto dearly. I just like people.

 I grew in ways I never thought I would. I'm older, more mature. I found new friends. I found old friends. I connected with more people. I reconnected. I stayed with people, people I've known since day one of CRLS.

I'm so different now. I feel beautiful, I feel smart.  My face has changed, my body has changed. I feel like an adult instead of a child. A woman instead of a girl.

I got better grades, I improved. I have bigger goals. I rediscovered photography, something that is such a huge part of my life now. It is my passion, what I love. it is what I want to do until I'm old and grey.

I re-connected with Becca and could not imagine my life without her. I've never met someone so interesting and brilliant in my entire life. I love her to death. She's my living high school survival guide and best friend.

I discovered that Sophie is and will always be my best friend.  Wait, not just best friend, something more. I love her more than anything. Different schools means nothing. I would do anything for her.

I almost lost my house, I almost lost my father. Not in a death sense, but in something more. I almost did bad in Chem, I almost did bad in math. I almost went to point, I almost tried drugs. But I didn't.

This year I discovered I can be sneaky. I can be a little rebellious. I'm fun and a little inappropriate (inapropro, haha Marlees) but thats okay. I'm me. 

I discovered that I don't understand a lot of teenagers and the drug hype. All it is is giving you an excuse to act like a dumbass. I don't think it's cool. I don't think it's uncool. I just think drugs are things that makes you act like a dumbass.

I discovered not everyone is going to like me. Actually, a lot of people won't. I'm okay with that.

I discovered that I wasted so much time worrying about others opinions, and I don't anymore. 

I discovered that people my age are on the same playing field and that everyone is insecure. 

I discovered that my mother is my hero and I love her so, so much. I've always known that, since I was a little girl. But this year I needed her so much, and she was always there to pick up the pieces or get me through. She is the most dedicated, amazing talented, GENIUS social beautiful person in the world. I am the luckiest girl alive to have her as my mother. She is, in every way, the greatest mother on earth (well, in my earth).

I discovered I believe in Karma and God and that I will always have something or someone looking out for me.

As I write this, I can feel my eyes start to burn. How the hell am I sixteen, almost seventeen? Where is time going? I feel so old, so scared. But I'm ready for junior year. I'm ready to keep growing. Just watch.

I'm still Sierra. I've been the same crazy, spacey girl since I was a tot. I hope that through my changes and discoveries I always hold onto who I am and what I love.

Hello, future. I'm ready.